counting acts and clutching thoughts

2011-01-07T02:52:00.001+09:00

the unreasonable jealousy.
the never-ending quarrels.
the excessive tears, screams and heartaches.
the stupid fights over small unnecessary things.

what's the point in having a relationship then ?
why bother ?

give it up.

2010-12-29T16:59:00.001+09:00

i like men who are comfortable with themselves. my whole idea of sexuality has changed. When i was younger, i wanted the stereotypical gorgeous guy you could show off at parties. Now i like slothful men who dont give a fuck about how they look. I like people who are solid and know who they are. I dont want someone who's worried about how their hair looks when they're sliding over to my side of the bed. I've got enuff problems myself without having to deal with somebody else's shite.

2010-12-28T02:00:00.003+09:00

oh wow. apparently, i've gone softer by the years.
should be good, although some people still have the desires to end my life due to callous words coming out from my mouth.

i have tumblr, and twitter.
http://cursingconcrete.tumblr.com
@sariburgess

2010-12-28T01:58:00.001+09:00

does it make sense that when i look in the mirror at home, i'm okay, but when i step out and look at myself in the mirror outside, for example at the mall or something, i feel hideous? i don't know. something to do with the fact that i'm comfortable at home and less so in other places?

Test

2010-05-12T01:46:00.000+09:00

This is merely a test to see if I can start blogging from my blackberry..
Sent from my BlackBerry�

2010-03-08T01:26:00.000+09:00

It's appalling how many friends I've lost. It seems as though eventually, everyone just becomes complete strangers to each other. Everyone dies, moves, leaves you, or turns into someone else. Then it makes me wonder, did either of you ever really know each other?

back to the old house, we never will..

2010-02-11T20:10:00.003+09:00

EPILOGUE

T : "is this it ? you're.. you're mine"
S : "i did my best for you, but we can not cling to the old dreams anymore.."
T : "under the bridge we kissed.."
S : "and although i ended up with sore lips, it just wasn't like the old days anymore"
T : "we've been through hell and high tide and yet heavy words are so lightly thrown by you"
S : "too freely on my lips, words prematurely sad"
T : "i've seen this happen in other people's lives and now it's happening in mine"
S : "well, i wonder, do you hear me when pass ? i half-die."
T : "i started something and now i'm not too sure"
S : "In the days when you were hopelessly poor, i just liked you more"
T : "we belong to the lights"
S : "boy in a million, king of your age"
T : "this one's different, because it's us"
S : "who do you turn to when you're backstage ? "
T : "how near you stand to me ?"
S : "what difference does it make ?"
T : "she's too rough and i'm too delicate"
S : "i know that, vivid and in your prime, you will leave me behind"
T : "you can kick me, you can punch me and you can break my face. But you wont change the way i feel because i love you"
S : "And love is just a miserable lie. What do we get for our trouble and pain ?"
T : "i'm sorry, for destroying our flower-like life"
S : "no more apologies, im too tired, so very tired. And im feeling very sick and ill today, but i'm still fond of you.
T : "10 full years of our lives on the trail, we should just start again"
S : "There's something against us, it's not time. Please stay with your kind and i'll stay with mine. So Goodbye..."

2009-09-16T01:21:00.000+09:00

there's a gap where we meet
where you end and i begin
and i'm sorry for us..

2009-09-06T15:26:00.002+09:00

my fave rave classic ever. i remember i started listening to this tune when i was 13 going 14. i was so infatuated by this song. it's simply the best electronic cover version of The Beatles hit "Strawberry Fields Forever"..

2009-09-04T02:01:00.001+09:00

I wanna run with the reckless emotion
Find out if love is the size of an ocean
Even if I crash down and burn out
At least I’m gonna know what it’s like
To feel alive...

2009-09-02T00:19:00.005+09:00

i dont want to disappear. i want to stay with you forever. i want to remember your smell, your laugh, your voice; everything,.
it's so hard to think that one day this will all be gone.
it feels like we just got here.

2009-08-31T03:21:00.001+09:00

A friend came up to me today. She said she had bumped into her ex from a long while back and she had to change her direction to avoid her ex.

I sat over a cup of tea and tried to look introspectively on past events, whether i've experienced the same situation as her.

After a few sips of tea and flash-backs, i finally recalled about the day when i ran into this guy whom i coupled with few years ago. The relationship was excellent in every possible regard except one - we drove each other totally f*cking batsh*t crazy.

I was standing there akwardly and started off by… casually dropping in some kind of reference as to how “long ago it seems” since we both last talked. Sound nonchalant..

I remember once someone said to me.. "whenever you have a conversation with your ex, remember to make references to anything interesting you do in your spare time (Chinese pottery, wine-tasting classes, betting on midget fights), which will rouse suspicions that your life is possibly much more fulfilling than his."

I did that and it worked nicely.

I think one golden rule to do or follow whenever you run into your ex and must have a conversation with him/her is …never show any emotion.

Don’t show that you were hurt by the breakup. Don’t show that you are interested in your ex current life. Don’t laugh at your ex jokes. Don’t laugh at your own jokes. If men are as inherently crazy as I have been led to believe considering the events of the past few months, this final step should drive him insane with passion and he’ll be grabbing at your balls again before you can say “your new gf” with a scare-quote gesture for the 15th time.

2009-04-29T17:52:00.001+09:00

i am overwhelmed by the realization that we live in a world where on one end, people own mansions, luxurious cars, Plasma TVs, computers and blackberries and electric guitars and computerized what-not, while not very far away, a man's entire livelihood is centered around a wooden pushcart and selling fried rice to passersby on the street.

it's amazing.

2009-04-16T16:31:00.004+09:00

everything was (perhaps) on the right track.
until i decided to screw it up (again).
and now i am facing the downside of life (again).
i need to get my acts together or i'll end up in nothingness.
not that i mind but i have somewhat realized that life is too short to be taken for granted.
i need to make an emergency call to ambition, motivation, and desire.. so that i can be myself again..

2009-04-03T15:31:00.002+09:00

i really think i need a vacation.
i'm losing my grip on reality.
i just have no motivation anymore....
i need more dopamine in my system....
where can i get some l-dopa?
i just can't find the motivation to do anything and everything.

2009-03-30T22:45:00.002+09:00

Bobby Kim debuted in 1994. Kim after a short stint as rapper and singer of Dr. Reggae, the first Korean reggae group, Kim went behind the scenes to write and produce songs for artists like Sechskies, Drunk Tiger and T in the late ‘90s. It was only in 2001 that Kim returned to the stage as part of hip-hop trio Bugga Kingz with rappers GanD and Juvie. Though their first album was not a commercial success, it was recognized by fans and critics alike for its unique and stylish branding of hip-hop and soul. In 2004 Kim released the solo album, “Beats Within My Soul,” a critically acclaimed effort that earned him a Korean Music Award that year. Today Kim continues to perform with Bugga Kingz, who released their second album “The Renaissance” last year, as well as a solo artist. Bugga Kingz members as well as members of the Movement Crew, a group of hip hop artists that include Tiger JK of Drunken Tiger, Dynamic Duo, T and others, are expected to make guest appearances.

Discography :

Holy Bumz Presents Bobby (1st album, 1998) : Pain, Free Style, Lonely Night, Roots, I Wonder, Remember Last Christmas, Red Face, My Recipe
Beats Within My Soul (2nd album, 2004) : Running Man, It’s Alright It’s Allgood, Poor Boy Rhapsody, Falling in Love Again, Harmony, One More Glass
Follow Your Soul (3rd album, 2006) : Follow My Soul, Don’t Say Goodbye, Blue Bird, Sing Sing Sing, Love Virus, You’re My Everything

I’ve been a fan of Bobby Kim for quite a while now, and i just thought i'd feature him on my blog because he needs to get more exposure. I still feel lucky that i met him in person 2 years ago and got him signed my YDH's towel.

In brutal honest, im getting drawn more and more into Movement boys.. They just know how to treat their women, unlike the YG boys..

2009-03-27T01:25:00.004+09:00

White Lies is being featured on MTV Push altogether with Metro Station, which means i am gonna be seeing a lot of JACK (<3), Harry and Charles. HALLELUJAH !

quoting Derry "man, you surely are a happy lass. both bands being featured on MTV are your faves!"

Dude, can't you see the big fat grin on my face ?
i am literally grinning from ear to ear !
hahaha

White Lies is prolly the only post-punk revival band i'm in love with at this moment. Ever since the absence of The Strokes and The Bravery, i haven't really found a good post-punk revival bands that could give me satisfaction. Sure, there are a pile of good bands that are part of the early 21st century post-punk revival. The Killers, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Babyshambles, Franz Ferdinand, Interpol, Kaiser Chiefs, The Libertines, Kent, Placebo etc etc. But i am just not enchanted by them like i am with White Lies. Harry has a fucktastic voice, it is sort of ian curtis and ian mcculloch inspired!

I love the feeling when we lift up
watching the world so small below
i love the dreaming when i think of
the saftey in the clouds out my window
i wonder what keeps us so high up
could there be a love beneth these wings
if we suddenly fall should i scream out
or keep very quite and cling to my mouth as i'm crying
so frightend of dying
relax yes im trying
this fears got a hold on me

yes, this fears got a hold on me

i love the quite of the night time
when the sun in the deathly sea
i can feel my heart beating as i speed from
then sense of time catching up with me
the sky set out like a pathway
but who decides which path we take
as people drift into a dream world
i close my eyes as my hands shake and when i see a new day
who's driving this anyway
i picture my own grave
cause fears got a hold on me

yes this fears got a hold on me

Floating neither up or down i wonder when i'll hit the ground
well the earth beneth my body shake
and cast your sleeping hearts awake
could it tremble stars from moon light skies
could it drag a tear from your cold eyes
i live on the right side i sleep in the left
thats why everythings got to be love or death

yes this fears got a hold on me

2009-03-26T02:42:00.001+09:00

Just Imagine having only 24 hours to live before your life came to an end, and you had to leave this world forever.
If this were your last day, what would you want to do?
Would you just sit back and smoke a cigarette?
Who would you want to see the most?
Is there someone you’d want to try to find?
Or is there a secret you’d just like to keep without telling anyone?
If you lived a life with no regrets, would you still be smiling when it’s all over?
Or would the judgments of God cause you to tremble and shake?

2009-03-24T17:40:00.004+09:00

Another awesome performance from U-min, a performance popping crew from Japan specializing in animation. Very technical and illusional indeed. speed control's crazy ! sickkkkk !

yes, instead of doing my work, im drooling over hot japanese poppers.
life's good..

2009-03-23T20:08:00.001+09:00

Often when we're feeling down, we focus on the bad and let the good things go unnoticed. We start to think we're incredibly unlucky and far less successful than the people around us. We compare ourselves to people who are prettier, wealthier, etc etc and end up with the very negative view of ourselves.

Meehh.

True, comparing ourselves to other people is totally useless, because everyone is different :)

2009-03-22T03:19:00.002+09:00

today was good.
hung out with the boys, ran into cathy and rianti.
"mbak ..., you look FABULOUS", Rianti said.
"i know" i smiled.

I love to read peoples bitchy complainy entries when you know they have nothing to complain about. I'm thoroughly amused by some things...vague entries rock.

Pointless post, just procrastinating on going to bed.
i finally have NOTHING to do this Sunday.
YAY !

2009-03-21T02:31:00.001+09:00

livet är en gåta för mig , varje gång vi inte kommer överens, hur kommer det sig att min historia. gör det till ett handikapp för mig...

didn't i tell you that i always speak swedish whenever i am dissolved in booze ?
yes.. go figure..

2009-03-19T16:17:00.000+09:00

the pessimist takes a sort of gloomy pleasure in observing the depths to which human behaviour can sink. The more sin he sees, the more his belief in original sin is confirmed. Everyone likes to have his deepest convictions confirmed. That's one of the most abiding of human satisfactions...

2009-03-11T17:21:00.004+09:00

Dear, Life..
Please go easy on me.
Be gentle on me.
And, for once..
Please lead me the way out..

2009-03-10T13:46:00.002+09:00

i am super pissed off right now.
Everybody knows i dont fuckin belong in this place.
I really should be doing things i am passionate about.
Even if it will make some people think i'm a quitter.

They don't understand.
They won't understand.

2009-03-09T03:51:00.002+09:00

okay, this week was hella tiring.
But to think about it, i think it's been really tiring every week.
Especially since i have been having a 9 to 5 job. Never thought a desk-job could be that tiring. Anyways, I utilize the weekends for meetings and catching things up with loved ones. And finally i got a proper sleep last night. I went to bed at 9ish and woke up at 10ish today haha. man, it felt soo damn good !

Another note :
in the meeting this week, it was seriously frustrating to talk to him. I almost lost my temper and i could tell that he was also quite upset with us. Well, i don't blame him for thinkin we're being pessimistic bitches. However, i just wish he could be a tad bit realistic about the market. It's good to implant a new system but it's gonna take a lot to make it work. And maybe, there's always a chance that the system is not going to work. It's not being pessimistic, it's being realistic.

2009-03-06T18:55:00.000+09:00

man, thank you it's friday.
And also a good thing that it's going to be a long weekend.
Hence, no work on Monday.

oh yeah.
she knows my intention.
So i will just pass her the letter on Tuesday.

Lord knows i'm the most unhappy when i'm at this place, go figure.